sadness - I will always love you

first of all I've been working really hard on the q&a video. I have 15 minutes of video so far and have answered 21 questions. the process is slow because there's a lot of video editing involved but I'm really enjoying it. I plan on answering basically every question that was asked so the video is going to be really long, but probably when I get through the patreon questions I'll show you guys an unfinished version of the video.

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this song is going on the "old songs 2014" compilation album. I don't know exactly when I started recording it but it was definitely in the spring of 2014. hearing this song (and any other song of mine that I made during springtime) it so so crystal clear that it was made during springtime. spring is my favorite season. there is something so absolutely magical about it and it always finds its way into my music wether I try to capture springtime feelings or not. the essence and different forms that springtime can feel always course through my entire body and it naturally bleeds into whatever music I make. I wasn't even concious of this back then but now , when I listen to things i made in springtimes over the years it's so bvious. spring 2014 I made this, spring 2015 I made songs like "enshroud", spring 2018  made songs like "on a green", spring 2017 I made songs like "cerrien", etceteretcetrecta. 

instrumentally the song was unconciously inspired by springtime, but a very obvious aspect (that applies to almost all of my music ever) are these stories and moments I imagine in my head that I wish I could hold. I wished I could even say "I will always love you". I wish I even had someone to say those words to. in may 2021 I wrote the lyrics that I ended up deciding to use on this song. in the lyrics I was heavily remembing the feelings i would feel in spring 2014, the things I desired. the lyrics talk about moments, memories, but the moments and events could be anything, what doesn't change is true love. true love which I always wished I had

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we are both 16 running towards springgardens 

no sight or direction

only our pure lovehearts stimming words 

showing each other our eyes full of april rain

as we recoil 

taking each other to new hiding places 

open like riverbeds in our hearts

there are so many words we don’t say

but they sound everywhere we go

in every song we sing

in every laugh we laugh

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there's so much more I could say about this song but I'm in the starbcuks because I need wifi to post this and I had coffee and now my head is even more chaotic. I genuienly cannot focus on absolutely anytghing at all. what you must know, is that this song is extremely personal, absolutely extremely meaningful and everything that goes on behind it is extremely extremely meaningful to me