Behind the Scenes + Film

My most expensive video thus far is “How Femboys Won the Vietnam War”.  The Producer (me) insisted that we shoot on digital for several reasons.  The first being: it’s a YouTube video.  The second being: I am wearing a dress and saying UwU.  The third being: I forgot what he said here.  I was too busy thinking about how pretty I felt in that dress.  Also: how good it felt killing Viet Cong.

The Director (me) insisted we shoot on film for creative reasons.  16mm film, Kodak 250D.  The grit of the Tactical Femboy’s story could only be communicated in this manner.  To do less would be homophobic.  Possibly.  It’s, quite frankly, unclear if the Tactical Femboy is actually homosexual or if he does this out of a sense of duty.  Regardless, he’s a patriot and this video should cost no less than $10,000 to produce.

The Producer, who had begun to suspect the Director was not mentally-well, decided to get a restored Super 8 Camera.  Super 8, being a film stock intended for drunk dads in the 70s, was then and remains even now the most inexpensive way to shoot motion picture film.

I love film.  I love contrast.  Visual.  Thematic.  Tonal.  Don’t care.  If a book or movie is constantly contrasting something, it will obsess me.  Unfortunately, my favorite example of this is Kanye West’s music.  The contrast of Life of Pablo is a fixation of mine.  A more respectable example of contrast would be Slaughterhouse Five.  However, fuck Kurt Vonnegut, he made me realize that history happens to people and not action figures.  Asshole.

The abyssal blacks and divine whites of film obsess me.  When you get everything in focus and expose properly?  You will make the mundane otherworldly.

You didn’t do anything.  I am not bragging.  It is far harder to get everything in focus and expose than I’d like!  It’s just that if you meet the moment on the moment's terms, it suddenly becomes beautiful.

One of these is a random sunset at some shitshow Quality Inn.  Somewhere in Tennessee.  My life is still in tubs in my car.  I went to Graceland the day after I took that photo, it was the only detour I made.  Unfortunately, I didn’t get the roll developed where I captured Elvis’ grave.  It was resplendent with marble and devoted disciples.  He didn’t notice. 

I am not famous, of course, but this is the little fame I get. Not complaining, attention is genuinely the worst part of this.  We all get a little now, I think.  For better or worse.  

I told my best friend on the phone that Elvis was the Patron Saint of fame, but I don’t know what miracles he did.  My friend responded, “He made it possible for girls to cum.”  Thank you, Elvis.

My dream is to make a YouTube video filmed in 16mm one day.  I have a few ideas, mostly horror.  I always thought there was going to be a point where I could slow down, burn money on weird shit, and truly find fulfillment.  The ability to spend as long as I want on videos.

I realize now that moment will never come.  Because it’s perfect.  There is no such thing.  Everything is compromised by reality.  We need to meet reality on its own terms if we ever hope to make anything.

I am going to film a YouTube video in 16mm.  Well, after the IRS is off my ass.  I hope within 6 months I’ll be able to do something properly stupid.  For now, I spiritually need to spill my guts everywhere.  I financially need to talk about Doom: The Dark Ages (which I am looking forward to playing, after the current video is done).  This moment is, perhaps, a little too far from perfect.  My own fault, and I’ve learned many lessons.

I promise I’m not spending too much money on this stuff, particularly if you compare it to what I was spending slowly killing myself.

I leave you with the thumbnail for the next video.  A double-exposure of my friend’s arm and the ocean which I cleaned up a bit in GIMP.  Thanks for your money, but I hope we both agree that Adobe can get fucked.  

I know I'm still not good, at the moment. I couldn't be happier with this one, though.

Thanks for your support,

DJ PC