So about that play date …
Actually, before we even get into that, let’s just reflect on my general saintliness in tolerating the whole mess Mary created when she decided to introduce diap...
2021-10-27 13:01:03 +0000 UTC View Post“There you are,” Mary said from the doorway to our bedroom.
“Here I am.”
“I wrap up my workday and I expect my little woman to be making me dinner,” she said as she sat down...
2021-10-25 16:14:40 +0000 UTC View PostI am so many kinds of fun it’s not even funny, and I should get some credit for that the next time someone accuses me of being a grumpy goose. I mean, I play along on all kinds of stuff, so peopl...
2021-10-21 12:35:45 +0000 UTC View PostI do NOT have an attitude … anymore. I’m not the kind of person to find themselves in a funk for no reason (um, really), but sometimes maybe as in yes, I do. Though to be fair to me, because so...
2021-10-18 20:05:19 +0000 UTC View PostI wish I were one of the people who dressed for the season rather than the weather. They always look so stylish. September happens, and they just pretend it’s not still hot outside even though it...
2021-10-16 13:00:06 +0000 UTC View PostWell excuse me for trying to make our home prettier … sort of.
“Daffy,” Mary called to me from our living room. I came out of our bedroom freshly dressed and looking lovely. Ya know how...
2021-10-13 20:46:01 +0000 UTC View PostThe picnic was my idea. Specifically, having a picnic and to make turkey sandwiches for it. Also, the array of sides and the dessert. The activities surrounding the picnic were Mary’s idea. I inf...
2021-10-11 13:52:04 +0000 UTC View PostI think Mary’s plan is to keep me always a little miffed and always a lot in love with her. She likes it when I’m twitterpated and conflicted and all squirmy. How weird. She’s weird. That’s...
2021-10-06 13:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post“I know what you’re doing,” I told Mary because I knew what she was doing and wanted her to know I knew what she was doing. And she knew I knew and that I wanted her to know, and I knew that ...
2021-10-03 19:23:18 +0000 UTC View PostI’m not saying I’m great. I’m just saying that my chroniclers will one day write, “Whatsoever she did, she did with utmost grace and surety, as though the apotheosis of womankind.” Surely...
2021-09-29 13:04:38 +0000 UTC View PostMary talks me into stuff. She’s very good at it. I talk myself into stuff, like that time I talked myself into asking for a domestic discipline lifestyle relationship and handed over the reins to...
2021-09-26 14:26:32 +0000 UTC View PostMary and I had words after I got back from Nana’s, and “got back” is how I’m describing it even though she’d describe it as getting picked up. Specifically picked up by her, knocking on t...
2021-09-21 13:13:06 +0000 UTC View PostSMACK! “I’m not interested in the opinion of little girls with spanked butts and wet tushes.” Thus spake Zarathustra. Or Mary. Mary said it. It was a rather mean thing to say, if you ask me, ...
2021-09-18 02:25:04 +0000 UTC View Post“Hi, Nana,” I said with a voice one might characterize as purposefully mopey as I was in search of sympathy and went outside specifically hoping she would be in her yard doing nana stuff.
“Can I tell you a secret,” my Mary asked me. We’d made it out to the island, which we had all to ourselves courtesy of it being an ungodly hour just before dawn. You gotta watch the sunrise s...
2021-09-12 12:01:01 +0000 UTC View PostYa know how excited people get when they fit into something from their high school years? Well, I fit into something from my preschool years. Glass half full? Of course, I never did like being so p...
2021-09-09 13:57:30 +0000 UTC View PostI’m okay. Really. I just had a bad dream that something happened to Mary. It’s totally reasonable after such a dream that I’d roll over and koala her whole body so tight that when we woke up ...
2021-09-06 12:00:00 +0000 UTC View Post“Ow,” I squeaked as I eased my butt down onto one of our nice new patio chairs. Been quite a week. Did I ever mention Mary is mean? Cuz she is. She is just mean. In wonderful ways that are part...
2021-09-04 12:46:42 +0000 UTC View PostOscar Wilde said, “There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.” Not that I ever read Oscar Wilde, but Frasier Crane did, and I binged a...
2021-09-02 13:00:06 +0000 UTC View PostOf the two of us, we had assumed that if one of us was going to have nasty side effects from our shots, it would be me. But nope; Mary did. Nothing major, though. She just felt like she had the flu...
2021-08-31 13:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Hi readers,
Firstly, I hope you’ve been able to enjoy your summer and that you’re all healthy, happy, and well. I appreciate your support more than you can know. Just knowing there are pe...
2021-08-28 16:53:45 +0000 UTC View PostBefore you judge me, please understand I was just trying an experiment, sorta to prove a point. See, if Mary was gonna simulate me ... doing that thing, I was curious if what she was really doing w...
2021-08-28 16:23:36 +0000 UTC View PostI didn’t do anything. Let’s just lay that fact out there, and let’s keep it in mind for the duration of the tale I’m about to relate to you, for it is fanciful and strange and nothing that ...
2021-08-27 13:00:07 +0000 UTC View PostI was really not liking my brain that day. Or actually, not my brain. My brain and I are on the same side. We’ll blame my heart. I myself am more than the sum of my parts, so I’ll be blameless ...
2021-08-25 13:05:08 +0000 UTC View PostMary is sweet as sugar candy, maybe even almost as sweet as me, and I’ve been described sometimes as being cloying and treacly what with my tendency to cling to partners like a koala to a tree. A...
2021-08-22 00:25:13 +0000 UTC View PostMary stopped mid-step and looked up at me, obviously surprised. I could see the blush rising in her cheeks (so I know she has at least some sense of shame). It’d been a long while since I hit the...
2021-08-20 12:12:38 +0000 UTC View PostI am not a little girl.
I got good grades in high school. I played sports and was good at some of them. I had friends. I got good grades in college. I had friends there, too. I had girlfriend...
2021-08-18 22:28:40 +0000 UTC View PostAssholes! Assholes assholes assholes! And butt faces.
I went inside, washed my hands, dried my hands, and threw the dish towel back on the counter because I am fierce. Or just pissed off. And...
2021-08-16 13:01:08 +0000 UTC View PostMary and I haven’t exactly gotten along today, and that’s never what you want on Easter. The problem is that I am indisputably right, and I wish Mary would stop disputing me. It began between t...
2021-08-15 18:05:22 +0000 UTC View PostMary was so on my shit list today. I mean, how was I the one in trouble? I was the wronged party! She … urgh! Dammit! I was not a happy camper.
“Mary, please,” I asked for the bajillion...
2021-08-09 13:21:23 +0000 UTC View Post