heatherbeck

New Tier for Prospective Pen Pals!

So, two things.

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First, I just launched a new tier! It's a fun concept I've been mulling around in my mind for a while now... I would love nothing more than to get to know some of yo...

005: The One in Which She Talks About Natalia and Olga for About a Half Hour.

It is a truth, Universally Acknowledged, that you figure yourself out as you go along. And sometimes that has something to do with the fact that you are a person who just-so-happens to have tig ol'...

The glamour…

… Does melt away just a little when you consider that a good chunk of my shirts are just things I wear so day-to-day spills and dribblings don’t tend to build up too much upon clothing I rely o...

Ones & Zeroes

I guess if you get enough of them, the sky is the limit, right? Anyway. My ramble about the Last Invention of The Homo Sapian. (I’ve got a little Neanderthal blood in me, so let’s not mess arou...

Get Yourselves a Lucky Coin.

As the great Tobias Funke once said: Somewhere Over the Rainbow, There's Another Rainbow. I am sure there are more jokes to be made. I am also certain that that there is always money in The Banana ...

Footsies?

Just curious more than anything. There’s a theory that the part of the brain that likes large JubJubs is right next door to the part that likes footsies.

I’ve always been curious about t...

Printing Out The Schematics

I think it's important to provide an update to everyone. Headphones recommended. And much love to the Lovelies.

Electric Boobaloo.

Yeah, subtitles rock.

(This is the pic on which the cover to EtHBE:2 is based. I'm sure it's a limited edition thing and is positively Tantalizing.)

004 - Politics and the Great F.S. Gatsby.

I sincerely apologize, in advance. Wakka Wakka Wakka!
But I do have a feeling that a few of you might... love the idea of falling asleep to something like this?
If you like this kind of thi...

Lovely Rita Instagram.

That’s the offending picture. “S€%ual solicitation and all that. So one weird doghouse punishment? I can’t DM anyone for three days.

Here was the text!

2025-09-19 23:26:34 +0000 UTC View Post

Sharp Edges

Why the heck does the last bra that is both ‘commercially available’ and also ‘fits’… Why does it make Olga look so pointy? 🫨

A Tale of Two T!dDieZ! - Chapter 2: Pillars of Softness

I suppose, all I can say is... Enjoy! And also, the French are the best. I think the story got carried away; the wrangler -- myself -- only has the greatest affection for francophilic culture. And,...

003 - Cervantiphants!

I knew I had something for that!

Otherwise, it would have been... Hummn.

It reads like 'elephants.' I shall speak for myself otherwise!

An acquired taste.

Or, I’m sure, a niche interest.

Or perhaps, as Benoit Blanc would say, “Compels me, though.”

A fan sent it along. I think it reminded them of me.

Needless to say, Nat and ...

Ridiculum (c. 10,000 AD)

This is nothing of import. Do not worry about this. It is only an abstract ideal. It deserves none of your time. This is not a place of honor; no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here (though I...

A Thoroughly Mediocre Tour.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, dozens of frames per second must be worth a jillion words.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Tantalus No. ?

More tests are needed. Back to the lab!!! There’s a freshie on the device:

Hashtag Breasteract....

Tantalus Number … ?

One of the coolest things is when you have 15 different ideas, and then you watch them all merge into only one idea. This is where efficiency and creativity careen into one-another at breakneck hyp...

Heather Beck has asked you to participate in her cavalcade of malcontents on…

Yeah, or whatever. I do not have a LinkedIn that anyone can join. Which must make you 59% more affectionate toward me. That’s what the algo sayz!

But if I DID have a LinkedIn, I suppose thi...

Maybe.

If I went off the deep end…? I think I could still pull-off such spectacular bosoms. Maybe. Thanks to you-know-who for passing this along. Definitely.

002 - Tantaluseses

Let's keep on top of Mama Heather and the Girls. (Reowr.)
Away with you, ADHD! A foul besmirch to you, procrastination! A pox on reluctance, and a plague on all The Houses of capitulorimoritude!...

Tre Fiumi.

Just so y’all know the answer in advance of everybody else. In short?

About 30 pounds. Mas o menos. That’s the point where you Really Start Going… Shit. That is, in fact, a whole lotta...

A Tale of Two T!ddiEz, Intro/Chapter 1

I am so sorry to have to subject you to what is quite possibly the worst piece of literature that has ever been conceived.
I am also surprised that the previous sentence didn't necessitate a co...

001 - "If" Erin Go Braless

And may you be in heaven half-an-hour, before the devil knows your dead.
Please do let me know if you happen to want to hear the most absolutely tawdry limerick in all the land.
PS: I'm gon...

A Fascinating Phenomena.

I suppose that if you know what it is, you know what it is. We're all inundated these days, so it's not the easiest to keep up. I'm still belly-down on my CI Fever, waiting for the perfect wave to ...

Souks

Ha! Heh, heh... I always loved that. Because "Casablanca is in the desert!"

Except that it's not -- it's a very sea-faring district. It's a very utilitarian place, don't get me wrong. Very ...

Those wacky, winding alleys.

So at some point in the not-too distant past, I was wandering around… Umm… Marrakesh. Yeah. Marrakesh. Boy, lemme tell ya. That three hour train ride from Casablanca is a doozy. Go ahead and gr...

And never speak a word.

Decisions were made. These are decisions for which I take full responsibility. They were decisions that began with a simple idea: what if I were to wrap up a whole bunch of pasta Alfredo inside...