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Catherynne M. Valente

Catherynne M. Valente

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Catherynne M. Valente posts

ALLCAPS COOKBOOK BONUS EDITION PRESENTS: THE DARTH BABY

 

Darth Baby

As we’re all stuck home not allowed to go to brunches or breakfasts at pretty cafes or anywhere but into our DEEPEST DARKEST FEARATORIUMS, I thought...

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Traumatis Personae: Writing Through the Bad Times

 Greetings, all you who are dear and darling and distant.

It hardly matters what the first cough of spring feels like in Maine right now. Did it snow? I suppose. Did the snow stay? Not f...

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Open Discussion Post

Hey, everyone! This is the revival of the monthly community discussion post WHICH I THINK WE COULD ALL USE RIGHT NOW.

Come on in! No social distancing in the comments! All surfaces sanitized ...

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The Seventeen Nights (and counting)

Hello, darlings.


The essay will be up tomorrow along with an extra bonus recipe for those stuck at home trying to figure out what to cook. And I’m working on putting together tha...

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Three Year Anniversary

It's been three years this month since I began this Patreon. 

In that time, I've posted so much here, and made connections with so many of you, and been able to do so much (including cre...

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ALLCAPSCOOKBOOK PRESENTS: Craccoli (Parmesan Garlic Broccoli)

 

Craccoli

Like a lot of these recipes, this one is not technically mine, but I’ve made my own little alterations to it. This one belongs to my sister-in-law. View Post

ISOLATION Livestream in 20 Minutes

I'm going live in 20, grab your popcorn, your festive drink, and your questions! See you soon! The link is up there on my big dumb mug and you can have it open in a tab, it'll start broadcasting wh...

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Livestream Tonight!

Hello, my loves. Everybody holding up ok?


I’m going to be doing the livestream tonight at 7:30pm EST. This one will be open to the public to watch, since everyone could use a lit...

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Diary of a Plague Month

Hey, everyone.


Sooo...what’s up with you?


JK we all know what’s up with all of us. We are heading into uncharted territory, personally and economically and in ...

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Excerpt: The Quidnunx (This Is How We Ediiiiiit)

What am I working on this month? Literally the thirteenth version of the first third of this damn middle grade novel, which you read an old first chapter of months ago. Figuring out how to start th...

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ALLCAPS COOKBOOK PRESENTS: Chocolate and Pumpkin Chiffon Pie

 

Two Pies, Both Alike in Dignity

When I go to visit friends, I often cook for them. I LIKE TO. I PACK UNIQUE BAKING TINS.

This time, one of my old favorites...

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Please Do Not Get Mad At Me For What I Am About To Say About Dickstoats and Brave Buttercups: How to Fiction in an Angry World


Greetings, dear ones. It’s cold and rubbish over here HOW BOUT YOU? That’s all you can really say about January in New England. January, the worst month. The hangover of months. The ...

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ALLCAPS COOKBOOK PRESENTS: Meyer Lemon Maple Brown Butter Madeleines

 

Meyer Lemon Maple Brown Butter Madeleines

What can I say, the baby loves madeleines. We kept him mostly off the sugar sauce until he turned one, and now we’ve ...

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LET'S TALK ABOUT TIME, BABY

 

In Lieu of Title, Please Picture Jeremy Piven Yelling TEN YEARS in Grosse Pointe Blank


Greetings, my darlings. 

I...

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ALLCAPS COOKBOOK PRESENTS: Roasted Carrot-Herb Salad

 

Roasted Carrot-Herb Salad 

I’m just going to admit up front that I DEAD-ASS STOLE this recipe from Maria Dahvana-Headley. Two years ago I went to a writer...

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By Request: Baa Baa Black Sheep: The Secret Verses

Extra Special Bonus Content Time!

Several people have requested my new Baa Baa Black Sheep verses, which are already canon around my house.

I'm working with a friend to pitch this as a ...

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Book Birthday!

Today is launch day for...

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November Livestream Happening Now!

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November Livestream Will Go Live in 30 Minutes!

Hi everyone! The YouTube Livestream will go up at 7 pm EST! Join me in the chat and let's share the dark autumn night together.

#thankyoupatrons

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Thank You Patrons

Today is #ThankyouPatronsDay. We are meant to post special content and thank our patrons for supporting us.

Special content? Check. Stay tuned for the end of this post.

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Essay: Love in the Time of Nanowrimo

 

Love in the Time of Nanowrimo

Greetings, fellow travelers on the mad and lonesome road!

The road is muddy and frozen and nasty at the moment. Along with an...

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ALLCAPS COOKBOOK: CAKE SHAAAKE

 

CAKE SHAKE MISTAAAAKE

It’s only a mistake if you ate literally anything else that day. Or have issues with dairy. Or conspicuous consumption.

I’m not g...

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Trying Out This Throne Thing

Patreon is implementing a new app that will function basically like a dedicated Discord (with a tipping function) for this group.

Well, I’ll try anything once!

Right now, I’m ke...

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At Long Last: Band Merch Table!

Back when Space Opera came out, we absolutely planned to have band t-shirts and such ready to go. People instantly started asking for them and we just got snowed under by the outpouring of attentio...

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I Don’t Want Anybody Else, When I Think About You I Publish Myself: Methods of Madness in the Ebook Post-Apocalypse


Greetings, Mad Fictioneers! It’s autumn and that means I suddenly have nasty-ass heating oil bills and nothing is as attractive as staying in bed forever and everyone literally refuses...

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A Question for the Laboratory!

Before I write this month's essay, I'd like to ask what you guys would like to hear me talk about! It's been awhile since I checked in and in that time I've written a number of quite personal essay...

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ALLCAPS COOKBOOK: West African Peanut Curry with Pink Sumac-Infused Rice Pilaf

 

West African Peanut Curry with Pink Sumac-Infused Rice Pilaf

I’ve been wanting to play around with this recipe for ages, ever since it showed up in The Goo...

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Seasons of Sebastian: A Special Treat

I made this video to celebrate Sebastian's first year of life on earth. We decided it felt pretty personal and familial, so I didn't want to post it on social media at large.

But the thing is...

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General Discussion Post

Hey guys! Here’s your monthly free discussion post, a place to get to know each other, vent, chat, whatever you like—it’s your space!

What’s up with you folks?

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What's Cooler Than Cool? Losing Like a Big Loser.


Greetings, darlings. It is September, which means it has been almost an entire year since I made a human, which is pure madness and time is both stupid and fake. It also means the crowds...

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