This is Suze

I put myself in a box

I have had a really profound revelation for me. Mostly thanks to a conversation with one of my Patrons over Skype. He said to me "you've made a trap for yourself". We were talking about NSFW conten...

5 Rhythms

This is a style of dance I sometimes do in the mornings to shake off any unwanted feelings and emotions. Dancing helps me to get into my body and out of my mind. It guides me through different body...

Survival

This morning I woke up feeling full of anger towards myself. Talking always helps. It's therapy. The truth will really set you free, as painful as it may be to share our complete truth, it's better...

WWAFPD

If you're an Amanda Palmer fan, then you'll get the title of this vlog.

The conversation of incidental nudity and nsfw continues as one of my patrons tells me that AFP's Patreon channel conta...

NSFW content

Feeling under pressure to film in HD, I borrowed a friends phone...but it wasn't until I got home that I realised that their sound doesn't sync correctly to the video :-( I have tried to edit it in...

Accepting boring

sometimes I just want to jump to the good bits. If life is not exciting I want to skip, like a movie, to the good parts. Sometimes it feels like the boring bits take up so much time. I guess I eith...

Saying no

Wow, it has been quite a few crazy months. I feel like life is saying "don't waste your time" "what do you want?" "do you have it?" if not just say NO!

Letting go

Relationship coming to an end....the shop clsed,,,break down of friendships...feels like a lot of my technology is breaking down too....time to let go...and time to let in....

When everything is breaking down

It's been really hard for me to do anything lately. Even the pressure of making my videos and getting them out here has just been difficult. I feel like life is breaking down. Today I'm wondering i...

Exhaustion

Totally exhausted!!!!!!!!!! 

I closed the shop down on Wednesday, we had a party. I'll fill you in with some pics and videos...but basically it was a venture that lost me money and time,...

Value

Hey guys, here are my thoughts on the latest feedback from you about new tiers, current content etc.  I am committed to making my content here on Patreon and I am determined to produce the bes...

Let's go HD

Thanks for all your comments and messages. Today I made an HD video with another phone. It's been uploading for the last few hours!! So I'll hopefully be able to post it in the morning! 

Quality and value

The quality of this video sucks because my iphone is broken, and i am not willing to replace it because I think iphones suck. Which leaves me with a decision on getting a new phone with another bra...

When the dust settles

I am not even going to read the comments and messages right now. I was so triggered the other day and it all started when I was coming home from a long day, and i turned to my partner and said cold...

triggered

It's interesting. I was out working all day, and then I got home quite late and set out to edit a Patreon video. But then I saw all the comments in reply to my questions and it just triggered me so...

New tier!

Good morning everyone! It has been an interesting few months and if I have learned something from the stressful times it is SIMPLIFY SIMPLIFY SIMPLIFY! So I got thinking about what I want to create...

Freedom or whether it's ok to have a hairy pussy

These are the thoughts running through my brain. Freedom is the topic of conversation. It's always there. This is the authenticity challenge after all, and freedom is the goal. Happy Friday everyon...

Sea time Me time

I've noticed how triggered I've become lately. Too much pressure? Self induced? Probably.

I took a little time for me this last week. One thing that has become an addition to my ability to co...

Getting out of the head

I went into my head, feeling angry about a hundred things, then I was reminded to do Wim Hof, to get out of my head, I only did one round, but it was like a reset button. I remembered that I can do...

Susie Homemaker

It's almost a novelty being at home. Having time to do the dishes. My life has felt like such a circus the last few weeks, there hasn't felt like there's much joy, definitely not much s-p-a-c-e, ti...

5,4,3,2,1

Things are weighing down on me and to get things done, I've reverted to the 5,4,3,2,1, rule. Which means giving myself a countdown of 5 seconds in order to complete a task. Sounds nuts? Well maybe....

Pool Party

I promised I'd share  a wee sneak of the pool party...so here it is....

One of those days

This is real authenticity of life. And how it sometimes goes

What would life have been like if...

It's definitely time of the month. I could cry at the drop of a hat, feeling reflective and emotional

Under pressure

When everything feels like it's on top of me.

Not the most uplifting video of all time. I'll publish footage from the pool party next. Sometimes my human experience  amazes me. One day I...

Wim Hof

Wim Hof: I breathe in and out to the point of hyper ventilating for 4 minutes

Next: I exhale fully and stay exhaled while working out as hard as i can until I have to inhale

: I Inhale....

My home by the sea

For ages I was wanting to move by the sea, and nothing was flowing. I was thinking the Dominican Republic, or maybe down to Brighton where I grew up in the UK, but nothing quite flowed. Until last ...

Radical honesty

Something that I am always exploring in my relationships is honesty. Total radical truth. 

When my partner told me "I'm not that in love with you"

The truth can be painful. Yes. But I would rather feel the temporary hit of pain from hearing it, than live in a bubble hiding from the truth for years.

This was how I felt after hearing that...

My authentic process of making vlogs

Another name for this video might be...how much I'm hating myself right now....