I saw you outside the window. I startled you. You bled. I apologised. And then it happened... the meltdown. I said too much. Or maybe just enough. You were avoiding me. I thought it was because I w...
2025-07-31 16:38:22 +0000 UTC
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Okay, okay, deep breath… This is fine. I’m fine. You’re fine. We are… okay, not fine. That’s the point. Because this was supposed to be casual, right? Easy and breezy and not ter...
2025-07-31 16:19:34 +0000 UTC
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Okay, listen. Before you say anything, yes... I did steal your hoodie. Again. And maybe also your t-shirt. And maybe your pillow. But in my defence, you smiled at me like that and now all ...
2025-07-31 15:50:02 +0000 UTC
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I didn’t plan this. I didn’t plan any of this. You weren’t supposed to come, and I wasn’t supposed to still care. But there you are, standing in this creepy forest with your stupid...
2025-07-31 15:37:01 +0000 UTC
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We were having a lovely, quiet moment. It was peaceful. It was nice. And then my brain went, “Wait, are you bored? Is this boring? AM I BORING?” and suddenly I was spiralling ...
2025-07-31 15:25:01 +0000 UTC
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I thought I was just trying to save the bar. I thought I was doing the right thing, the necessary thing. But now our faces are on the news, my heart’s racing, and I feel more alive than I ever di...
2025-07-31 15:17:02 +0000 UTC
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So, um… I may have… accidentally murdered the plot. And a sorceress. Okay, not accidentally. But she was flirting with you and I just... look, it made perfect sense in character
2025-07-31 15:06:01 +0000 UTC
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You don't even have to say anything. I can feel your warmth right there beside me. I know your morning routine so well it’s memorised into my bones: the sleepy stretch, the way your hair sticks u...
2025-07-31 15:01:17 +0000 UTC
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Look, I said I was sorry, didn’t I? I came home, you were glaring at the kettle like it called you names, and then... silence. Actual full-volume silence. So yes, I panicked, and maybe I put a te...
2025-07-31 14:53:01 +0000 UTC
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It was just a glance. That’s all it took. One moment, one flicker of your eyes, and suddenly my world collapsed and rebuilt itself around you. I didn’t mean to fall this deep. I really didn’t...
2025-07-31 14:31:01 +0000 UTC
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Oh darling… you built a cage to keep me out. That’s adorable. You thought metal and sparks could stop love? That this little box would undo everything we are? I died for you. I tore my soul apa...
2025-07-31 14:23:02 +0000 UTC
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I swear I’m a functioning adult. Really. I run a team. I am terrifying in meetings. I own a label maker. And yet, one lunch date with you and I forget how to sit down properly. I can’t stop tal...
2025-07-31 14:16:01 +0000 UTC
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The internet is, how do I put this gently, an utter bastard. Upload speeds have entered “relaxed slug” territory, and I’m having to prioritise getting the videos up, one fram...
2025-07-30 18:38:48 +0000 UTC
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I had the sort of day that eats your soul a little bit. You know the kind. Everything goes wrong, and all you want is to collapse into someone who gets it. Someone who brings fresh sheets and holds...
2025-07-29 01:31:01 +0000 UTC
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I thought I was just trying to save the bar. I thought I was doing the right thing, the necessary thing. But now our faces are on the news, my heart’s racing, and I feel more alive than I ever di...
2025-07-29 01:07:01 +0000 UTC
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I always laugh it off. Always. I tease, I deflect, I make a joke or say something annoying so you’ll stop asking. But not this time. Because you saw it. The way I looked at you, not just with aff...
2025-07-29 00:43:01 +0000 UTC
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You said five more minutes... two hours ago. And here you are, still working, still yawning, still pretending you're fine. But I see you. I see how tired you are, how your shoulders are tight, your...
2025-07-29 00:21:01 +0000 UTC
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Four months ago, I was empty. I could paint, yes. But it was cold... colour without warmth, motion without meaning. Then you walked in, and everything changed. Every line I’ve drawn of you has br...
2025-07-29 00:13:01 +0000 UTC
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You’re pale, shaking, and you look like death dipped in a duvet, but no, of course, you're “fine.” Of course you're trying to get dressed. Of course you're planning to go to work when you can...
2025-07-28 23:57:01 +0000 UTC
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We’re not solving anything. We’re not rising above. We’re having a full-on moan.
Bring me your petty annoyances, your long-standing vendettas, your inexplicably cursed ...
2025-07-26 18:52:51 +0000 UTC
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Dearest Henchcuties,
I am astonished to report that today’s graduating classes from the Special Training Polytunnel are still alive.
I know. I’m shocked too.
...
2025-07-26 18:17:14 +0000 UTC
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You think I don’t mean it, don’t you? That I’m just saying nice things because I feel sorry for you, or I’m trying to make you feel better. No. No, darling. I’m saying it because it’s t...
2025-07-26 13:05:01 +0000 UTC
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I know, I know, I’m being ridiculously cuddly. But you don’t understand how soft you feel. How right this is. When I’ve got my arms around you, when I can feel you breathing, the world stops ...
2025-07-26 12:41:01 +0000 UTC
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I keep telling myself I’m not afraid. That I can let you in. That I can love you without flinching. But the truth is... I’m terrified. Not of love, no. Of losing it. Of losing you. I...
2025-07-26 12:17:30 +0000 UTC
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Henchcuties,
I come to you today with solemn news from the League's Special Training Polytunnel.
A select class of tomato cadets, bold, blushing, and round with promise, had successfull...
2025-07-26 01:25:00 +0000 UTC
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Okay. Right. Deep breath. This is fine. I’m totally fine. It’s not like I’ve spent the last six months strategically positioning myself behind the counter every time you walk in. Or ...
2025-07-25 21:33:16 +0000 UTC
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It is I.
Your evil overlord. Returned. Reconnected. Rebooted.
Let the plotting resume.
You may tremble now.
2025-07-25 21:22:33 +0000 UTC
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I didn’t mean for it to happen tonight. I thought I’d stay quiet. Like always. Just let you sit down, have a nap, maybe borrow the pillow you always try to steal. But you walked in looking so w...
2025-07-25 21:14:52 +0000 UTC
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I didn’t plan this. I didn’t plan any of this. You weren’t supposed to come, and I wasn’t supposed to still care. But there you are, standing in this creepy forest with your stupid...
2025-07-25 21:14:50 +0000 UTC
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We were having a lovely, quiet moment. It was peaceful. It was nice. And then my brain went, “Wait, are you bored? Is this boring? AM I BORING?” and suddenly I was spiralling ...
2025-07-25 21:14:48 +0000 UTC
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