You’re bleeding. You’re actually bleeding. And you’re standing there like it’s fine, like I didn’t just watch you drop to the pavement for me. Don’t smile. Don’t joke. I can’t breat...
2025-07-25 21:14:46 +0000 UTC View PostI tried to write you a letter. I really did. I even used a fountain pen and everything, but it just... I couldn't. My brain wouldn't let me. And now here I am — talking a million miles an hour, m...
2025-07-25 21:14:44 +0000 UTC View PostOkay. Okay okay okay. So we… kissed. No, not just kissed, we did things. We did the thing. And now you're asleep. Smiling. How can you be smiling? I’m freaking out. L...
2025-07-25 21:14:42 +0000 UTC View PostI wasn’t listening. I mean, I was. I tried to. But you were talking and then I saw the date, and now I’m here... doing this. Telling you everything I didn’t plan to say. About that k...
2025-07-25 21:14:40 +0000 UTC View PostI swear I’m a functioning adult. Really. I run a team. I am terrifying in meetings. I own a label maker. And yet, one lunch date with you and I forget how to sit down properly. I can’t stop tal...
2025-07-25 21:14:38 +0000 UTC View PostI’m not obsessed with you. Obviously. I’m just… invested in the rent being paid. And maybe you looked a bit tired lately. Not that I noticed or anything. I mean, I just happened to n...
2025-07-25 21:14:36 +0000 UTC View PostOkay, listen. Before you say anything, yes... I did steal your hoodie. Again. And maybe also your t-shirt. And maybe your pillow. But in my defence, you smiled at me like that and now all ...
2025-07-25 21:14:34 +0000 UTC View PostI didn’t mean to fall in love with you. Or maybe I did, I just didn’t realise I’d already started. It wasn’t some grand, swooping moment ... it was quiet. Messy. A little sick, a little dru...
2025-07-25 21:14:32 +0000 UTC View PostI can’t sleep. Again. You’re in my head and I can’t get you out. I’ve tried everything... distractions, silence, even pretending you never meant that much. But you do. You do and you don’...
2025-07-25 21:14:30 +0000 UTC View PostIt brings me no joy to inform you that my internet is, officially and unequivocally... dead.
Not pining. Not resting. Not having a little lie-down.
Dead.
This is not...
2025-07-23 18:46:52 +0000 UTC View PostOkay, so… funny story? You know Alex, my ex ex, capital-E-X? Ran into them in the supermarket. Totally fine, nothing weird... except they think you and I are dating, which is obviously r...
2025-07-21 23:59:02 +0000 UTC View PostI’m fine. Really. I’m just… not caffeinated. Or maybe I’m too caffeinated. It’s all the same now, isn’t it? The press, the coffee, the pretending... it’s exhausting. But you, you<...
2025-07-21 23:36:01 +0000 UTC View PostI told myself I could sneak out. That I’d wriggle free of your arms, find my clothes, and vanish into the morning like a ninja in your t-shirt. But then you made that sleepy little sigh and every...
2025-07-21 23:20:02 +0000 UTC View PostSo, um… I may have… accidentally murdered the plot. And a sorceress. Okay, not accidentally. But she was flirting with you and I just... look, it made perfect sense in character 2025-07-21 23:17:00 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello, you magnificent Henchcutie.
This is your gently shrieked reminder, delivered on yet another Monday morning that absolutely no one asked for, that you’re doing fine. Truly. E...
2025-07-21 13:15:43 +0000 UTC View PostOkay, okay, deep breath… This is fine. I’m fine. You’re fine. We are… okay, not fine. That’s the point. Because this was supposed to be casual, right? Easy and breezy and not ter...
2025-07-21 01:07:01 +0000 UTC View PostOh darling… you built a cage to keep me out. That’s adorable. You thought metal and sparks could stop love? That this little box would undo everything we are? I died for you. I tore my soul apa...
2025-07-21 00:08:10 +0000 UTC View PostHello my darling Henchcuties,
As a not-at-all reluctant member of the League of Evil (please see previous memos, signed declarations, and the time I was voluntold), ...
2025-07-21 00:02:07 +0000 UTC View Post
Esteemed Henchcuties,
A message from your ever-regretfully-in-charge Supreme Overlord of Adorable Chaos, Breaker of Coffee Mugs, Wielder of the Glitter Pen, Patron Saint of Poor Decisions, Mi...
2025-07-20 16:18:46 +0000 UTC View PostRight then, help a girl out:
Which of these bloody font combos do we like for thumbnails?
It’s the headline and the subtitle we’re judging, not the spacing or sizing or cosmic align...
2025-07-19 23:54:39 +0000 UTC View PostTime for an Audio Suggestion Livestream!
That’s right. You bring the weird little ideas, and I make concerned sounds while trying to keep a straight face.
Starts at ...
2025-07-19 18:54:49 +0000 UTC View PostYou look so comfortable here. So sweet in your little cottage, playing house like you belong in this quiet life. You thought they could hide you from me. You thought you could leave me dead and gri...
2025-07-19 04:53:01 +0000 UTC View PostYou’re thinking about messaging them again, aren’t you? I can see it all over your face. That ache in your chest, that voice in your head whispering just one more text, one more night, one ...
2025-07-18 00:37:01 +0000 UTC View PostYou woke up, but you’re not awake. Not really. This is all in your head, which makes me very real to you. I’ve been here for some time now, watching you sleep, watching you dream. That...
2025-07-18 00:14:00 +0000 UTC View PostIt was just a glance. That’s all it took. One moment, one flicker of your eyes, and suddenly my world collapsed and rebuilt itself around you. I didn’t mean to fall this deep. I really didn’t...
2025-07-17 23:51:00 +0000 UTC View PostI didn’t mean to eavesdrop. Well… maybe I did. I heard you reading and everything in me just went quiet, like my whole awful day folded in on itself and only your voice was left. You don’t kn...
2025-07-17 23:36:00 +0000 UTC View PostI know it’s late. I know you're quiet, curled in on yourself like the world has collapsed again, but I don’t need you to speak. Not tonight. Just listen. Let me say all the things you’ve forg...
2025-07-17 23:21:01 +0000 UTC View PostI’ve watched you wear that mask for so long I almost forgot what your real face looks like. But tonight… no more lies. You hate your life. You hate the chains you call duty. And I? I’m the ch...
2025-07-17 23:09:00 +0000 UTC View PostNew livestream schedule (yes, again)
Because I hate life and, quite fairly, it hates me right back.
Also... one of them’s a quiz night now. So that’ll be... something.
2025-07-17 18:56:36 +0000 UTC
View Post
Look, I just wanted to give up tea for a month. A month. That’s it. But now you’re muttering about the end of the world and doing a bloody stock take. Then you tell me you’re in a se...
2025-07-17 03:12:01 +0000 UTC View Post