Ancilla L

Writing The Rainbow: The Rejection of Yellow

In a sense, I am private about my living space. Not the whole house, just the part of it that I consider home.

Back in my parent's house, this was my bedroom. Few people entered my bedroom ev...

Ancilla's Dirty Diary: "I'm going to try to figure that out as well." (21/9/21)

Note: Welcome to my journal. It's an unfiltered collection of my thoughts and relationship. It's an erotic journal so it's mostly dirty. It's more loose and unstructured than most of my writing, an...

Spit or Swallow.

She used to piss in my mouth. She told me specifically not to swallow, just kneel on the floor, tilt my head backwards, and let it fill up in my mouth. Let it flow out when my mouth fills up, trick...

Ancilla's Dirty Diary: "Shoes use me and I thank them." (17/09/21)

Note: Welcome to my journal. It's an unfiltered collection of my thoughts and relationship. It's an erotic journal so it's mostly dirty. It's more loose and unstructured than most of my writing, an...

Podcast E16: Stroking Furniture And Moving All The Time.

What is home when you are never in one place for too long? Why did i stroke the furniture? 

At least one of those answers is in there. 

Enjoy! 

Ancilla's Dirty Diary: "I want to stop having orgasms."

Note: Welcome to my journal. This is a new segment. It's an unfiltered collection of my thoughts and relationship. It's an erotic journal so it's mostly dirty. It's more loose and unstructured than...

Ancilla's Dirty Diary: "He still won't touch me." (12/09/21)

Note: Welcome to my journal. This is a new segment. It's an unfiltered collection of my thoughts and relationship. It's an erotic journal so it's mostly dirty. It's more loose and unstruct...

2021-09-12 13:15:54 +0000 UTC View Post

Ancilla's Dirty Diary: Entry 4 (11/09/21)

Note: Welcome to my journal. This is a new segment. It's an unfiltered collection of my thoughts and relationship. It's an erotic journal so it's mostly dirty. It's more loose and unstructured than...

Ancilla's Dirty Diary: Entry 3 (10/09/21)

Note: Welcome to my journal. This is a new segment. It's an unfiltered collection of my thoughts and relationship. It's an erotic journal so it's mostly dirty. It's more loose and unstructured than...

Ancilla's Dirty Diary: Entry 2 (9/9/21)

Note: Welcome to my journal. This is a new segment. It's an unfiltered collection of my thoughts and relationship. It's an erotic journal so it's mostly dirty. It's more loose and unstructured than...

Podcast E15: What The Hell Makes A Relationship Work?

Okay, so I imagine you're expecting an answer, let me tell you now, I don't have the right one. I have an answer that I've been thinking about because a lot of people talk to me about their relatio...

Ancilla's Dirty Diary: Entry 1 (8/9/21)

Note: Welcome to my journal. This is a new segment. It's an unfiltered collection of my thoughts and relationship. It's an erotic journal so it's mostly dirty. It's more loose and unstructured than...

I Never Know What Will Happen When I Call Him Daddy.

It felt like the distance from my head all the way over to him spanned acres. I couldn't see him because I was lying on my back and I couldn't touch him because he was sitting...

Bad Girls Splutter and Choke.

"Do you see that babygirl?" He asked me pointing to the screen, "Do you see?"

Of course, I could see. I could see the tall, bendy woman down on her knees. I didn't know her but I knew the c...

Podcast E14: Sex Parties and New Normals

Hello! 

For an episode about kinky sex parties this one gets really political. Regardless, it does address the issues and mindset of fulfilling your wildest sexual fantasies, and how eve...

Podcast E13: The Death of Love.

Hello! 

This one is a little sad, though I did my best to make some inappropriate jokes. What happens when love dies? Do you feel it? Is it instant? How does it happen? 

You a...

My Sexuality Is Not My Personality.

There are a lot of things I do that seem like they are part of the stereotype and social role of being a woman. There are a lot of things I do that seem like adherence to the ...

Writing The Rainbow: The Memories of Orange.

I could not have been older than five. I was sailing with my father and the moment we stepped out onto the deck that evening I noticed, the orange sky.

It may have been ...

Podcast E12: The Dirty, Sick Pleasure of Feeling Sorry.

Hello! 

This week's podcast is strongly personal and weirdly sexual.  I discuss how I discovered that feeling sorry makes me feel aroused and how that can go horribly wrong, and won...

Writing The Rainbow: The Senses of Red.

I wouldn't wear red lipstick for the longest time. Oh I bought one every year since I was 16 and there was nothing concrete stopping me from from wearing it. Yet I was reluctant to even rub it onto...

Still Made Of Dirt.

"Would you like a drink while you wait?" She asked, appearing out of nowhere. 

I looked up expecting to see a young woman with a bright smile and a little yellow pencil.  ...

Podcast E11: When You're More Sexually Experienced Than Your Partner.

Hello! 

In this episode I talk about the situation where you're more sexually experienced than your partner. More specifically, when a woman is more sexually experienced than a man in a ...

The Girl In The White Box.

She came in a big white box I wasn't allowed to touch. He put it on the dining table and went out for a run. The cats wandered over to it almost immediately. Sniffing and prodding. They seemed susp...

13 Men Who Bought Me: C3: The One Who Bought What He Already Owned.

Note: This is a series. The prologue can be found here and the catalogue of all the posts is 2021-08-18 04:50:00 +0000 UTC View Post

Bitch.

"If you're going to act like a bitch, I'm going to treat you like a bitch," he said clasping the choke chain around my collar.

I am bitchy, I suppose. Most of the time I'm just snarky and m...

Podcast E10: Youth and The Death of An Old Man

Hello everyone! 

This week I talk about a sad but profound moment with an old man who died later in the week and the social, sexual and professional disadvantage of being judged for bein...

Why do so many relationships seem scary?

Every once in a while I will come across a relationship that scares me. I don't mean to say that the relationship seems dysfunctional or that it even seems unhappy, I just find it hard to picture m...

Fly On The Wall.

She's pretty, but not in a way that would make people uncomfortable; her appearance isn't so dazzling that it makes her unapproachable. Or maybe I just desperately want to believe that because I ca...

Podcast E9: When You Fall In Love With Your Best Friend.

Hello! 

Glad to see you're all still here and eternally moved by your constant support and encouragement. 

This week I talk about something relatable — falling in love with ...

Playing Fantasy In A Faraway Land.

I drink beer only when I am in that town, I have this irrational belief that beer loses half of its calories if there is an ocean in the vicinity. Plus I really like their beer, I haven't had beer ...