20th Move: Slowpoke Tale

20th Move: Slowpoke Tale

Ilex Forest, Johto.

“Gotta admit, when we first followed you out into the woods, I was super sceptical. I almost can’t believe it, but you really held up your end of the word, Uki. You’ve done an amazing job tutoring our Pokémon!” I didn’t listen to a single syllable of Misty’s begrudging praise. The truth, however, was evident to me.

“Yeah… totally… I’m the best…” I’m a failure.

In spite of my best efforts to delay the inevitable, every Pokemon had a shiny, new expansion to their move sets. Their trainers were particularly buoyant; I could practically see the flying terra balloons bouncing over their heads, threatening to float away in excitement.

Except for Brock - he perpetually had the fairy heart popping on top of his head and out of his eyeballs as he followed love-struck behind Naoko, the lost geisha we’d rescued.

If you’re wondering, I was a ghost terra type in this scenario. Because frankly, my soul had already left my body.

“Yes, it is indeed quite the accomplishment for one so young and inexperienced. Aqua Jet for Poliwhirl, Accelerock Pineco and Pikipek, and two never-before-seen moves for Pikachu and Cyndaquil, respectively. Quite the coup! Who shall have the honour of naming the new techniques?”

“Ooh! Ooh! Pikachu’s my buddy, so I should get to name his move!” Ash did a little karate chop motion. “Zippy Zap! What do you think, Pikachu?”

“Chu!”

“Wow, that’s certainly evocative. Any other takers? Perhaps our move tutor responsible has some other creative ideas.” Our sedate trek back to civilisation was enough time for Naoko to fully ingratiate herself with the group.

If only she’d limit her attention to them. This entire time, she’d kept on insisting to draw me into the conversation. Why couldn’t she just leave me to my fate and let me paralytically drag my feet home? Which, as it happens, spurred a stellar idea for the move in my mind. “Shock Walk.”

Ash shot my suggestion down. “Nah. I like Zippy Zap better.” Thus, it was so. “But tell you what, if anyone’s got a cool name for the fire type move, I’m all ears.”

“Trailblaze!” Misty probably had that sitting on the tip of her tongue; too bad she’d have to swallow it despite it being a perfect name for a fire type priority attack.

Brock made an X with his arms and sounded the buzzer. “Not allowed. That’s already the name of a grass type attack recently created by a gym leader out of Paldea. It works a lot like Flame Charge - which, by the way, is also off the table. I was thinking something along the lines of Matchstrike. Get it? It’s something you hit hard, fast, and lights things on fire; maybe even at the start of a battle.”

“Oh, very well reasoned! Any other suggestions?” 

Clearly she wasn’t gonna relent, so I might as well exercise some professional pride and officially name the move I created, henceforth and forever. “Sprintroast.” 

I didn’t need to elaborate, because Ash did the heavy lifting for me. “‘Cuz you’re cooking the competition! I like it - like it a lot. Look out Bugsy, my Cyndaquil’s gonna Sprintroast any bug you toss at me!”

My stomach flipped strangely at his announcement. First was because my guts were gloating, and second because they suddenly started gurgling when I spotted the roof of the town-to-forest checkpoint beyond the treeline. 

I searched for a way out of this. Any idle curiosity that might postpone my date with a destiny I didn’t want. “H-hey, while we’re out here, how about we show Naoko the hidden shrine? Do a little sightseeing, yeah?”

“No. I need a shower and a hot meal. No more dawdling.” Tired and cranky, Misty waddled unerringly towards the exit.

“Do not worry, Uki dear. We can always return at another opportunity. I am pleased to hear you wish to grow our relationship further.” Naoko, willfully misinterpreting my intent, tittered at me. Making it seem as if I was trying my level best to consort with the apparent consort.

Nothing was going my way today. As we crossed the checkpoint, strolled through the manicured path, and stood in front of Kurt’s main door, the sensation of doom had only grown worse and worse. My premonition was proven absolutely correct when a sledgehammer nearly whacked my statuesque nose and squashed my toes the second I’d opened the door.

“Uki! You’re back! W-waaah!” tossing away her weapon of mass destruction, April torpedoed head-first into my already churning stomach.

“Oof!”

“April! Why are you crying? What happened?” Brock had to be the one to kneel and address the young girl. I would’ve liked to do it myself, but she’d wrapped her burly arms around me and was squeezing every molecule of oxygen out of me.

“I-its grampa - he’s gone…” April judiciously wiped her snot across my shirt as she sniffled out her ambiguous answer.

“Woah… the old man croaked it!?”

“He’s not dead, you doofus!” Misty reflexively reprimanded Ash, but then quickly realised her own potential mistake. “He isn’t, is he?”

“No…” April squeaked out a little sadly - an emotion that didn’t last long because she soon after scrunched her face in anger and spat out. “But he’s dead to me!” Harsh.

The soothing hand I’d been rubbing on top of her scalp clawed her full cranium, and I tilted her head back to get her to look at me. “Calm down and give me the full rundown, will you?”

“Grampa said that we were ‘specting another guest soon. Someone who could help us open the GS ball, because nothing we did made it open. They were meant to come today, but they didn’t. Then something happened at the Slowpoke well. The Pokémart man came rushing to the house and told grampa that some bad guys in funny clothes chased everyone away from the well and said it’s theirs now. A lot of the townspeople were super-duper mad and were shouting about going there to kick those meanies’ butts, but grampa said it’s dangerous and told them to hold on and wait for you guys to come home since your strong trainers. So we waited and waited and waited, but you weren’t coming. Grampa got grumpy then and told me to wait at home so he could deal with the problem himself. B-but he’s been away for so long, a-and left me all alone!” April hiccuped through her epic retelling.

I was now fully cognizant of the fact that maybe this was kinda inadvertently my fault… sort of. If I was a tad more punctual keeping Naoko’s appointment instead of playing hide-and-seek with potential historical events, we might’ve been able to intercept Kurt before his impatience got the best of him, now that he’d likely gotten himself hurt.

“Oh, dear. As well intentioned as it may have been, it seems our decision to delay our arrival has had some unintended consequences.” Naoko succinctly summarised my screw-up. 

Arceus, being the God of this world, had provided me with a clear sign. Either I follow down the road he’d carefully laid out, or I get T-boned by his divine intersection. I didn’t want to test the theory of if I’d get a chance at a third life, so chose instead to ultimately undertake the mission that was so fiercely being forced down my throat.

Reassuringly patting April on her head, I peeled her off of me and addressed the full crew. “Appears we haven’t got a choice but to mount a rescue. April, I need you to help me, ok? You see the pretty kimono lady behind me? She’s the guest Kurt had called. Can you stay home to protect her while the four of us go get your grampa back home?” Demanding she outright bunker down for her own safety would’ve been met with a swift, decisive rejection. Giving her a task meant we wouldn’t have to worry about her tagging along and putting herself in harm’s way.

April peered past me to Naoko, who genially waved behind us. “I shall feel so much safer with you by my side, young lady.”

She stared at me again. “You’ll get grampa back home?”

“I promise.”

“… Okay.” She beckoned Naoko to follow her into the house - not forgetting her hammer - and shut the door.

“Let’s hunt some pests, shall we?”

–

“Who else, but those pesky Rockets?” Ash hissed and Pikachu mirrored his mood by sparking his cheeks.

“Those poor, innocent Slowpoke are probably getting their tails cruelly cut off.” Misty guessed our adversaries’ motives accurately.

“So, how do we tackle this?” Brock’s eyes were somehow narrower than they usually were.

The four of us ducked behind a large bush a few metres away from the entrance that led down to the well in a winding, gentle slope. It was the evening now, so the low light hid us from the single patrolling Rocket thug bouncing the only entryway.

“Quickly and quietly. We don’t need to alert any other Rockets in the area.” Tossing my ball, I released Tuki mid-air. “Knock him out.” Following my instruction, Tuki swooped up and marked the target I pointed at. Putting her newfound skills to the test, she dive-bombed, and it was lights out for the Rocket after a single Accelerock.

Hopping over the comatose criminal, we rushed down the spiral descent, peered over the wide brim of the well, and thankfully spied Kurt groaning dead centre at the bottom. “Psst!” Evidently, somebody slipped and fell in.

His face twisted in a scowl and he was liable to hurl curses in our direction had he not blinked and caught on that it was us, not another member of team Rocket. “That’s a shit place to take a nap!”

“A-April?” He stuttered out.

Brock jumped to assuage him. “Don’t worry, she’s safe and sound at the house.”

“No, you blockhead! I needed the girlie over here with her hammer to realign my spine. One good smack and I’ll be exploding these damn, dastardly Rockets! Who do you think I am? You think a piddly drop like this’ll kill me? Fix me, damn you! And I’ll show you what I’m made of!”

Yeah… clearly the only things bruised were his vertebrae and his ego. Kurt’s fine the way he was throwing his tantrum. “Mind hauling him up?”

“Sure thing.” Ash released his Chikorita, who helpfully extended two vines, and smoothly extricated Kurt from the well. 

I boosted myself with aura and cradled the belligerent senior when Chikorita deposited him in my arms. “No! We can’t leave yet!” Kurt implored.

“Wasn’t the plan. We’ll split up here. These three can head down and secure the well.” Kurt was about to protest my proclamation, but I smartly dug my finger into the sore spot on his back that made him wheeze from the pain and cease any further grumbling. “Meanwhile, I gotta drop you off to whoever passes as a doctor in the podunk town.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll get ‘em for you!” Ash flexed his bicep and unceremoniously leapt into the brick-lined hole.

Misty followed him in while cracking her knuckles. “I’ll teach them to hurt precious water Pokémon!”

“We’ll be out in a jiff - it’s not our first time dealing with these lowlives.” And Brock bounced in as the sensible rearguard.

“You really gonna let those whippersnappers go it alone?” Kurt found something else to be ornery about as I hefted him up the hill.

“I trust them to have it handled.” Two gym leaders and the prodigious protagonist with their combined plot armour weren’t anything to scoff at. “And besides, I have this sneaking suspicion that I’ve got my own battles to fight.”

Having crested the last bit of the climb, I was forced to abruptly duck behind one of the pillars holding up the archway over the area’s entry. Another set of Rockets had surrounded the one Tuki had fainted during our absence.

A rather distinct trio in their executive white uniforms.

“Tsk, tsk! Snoozing at his post, what would the boss have to say about this?” James imperiously flicked his purple hair.

“Let’s empty his pockets and see what he’s got!” Meowth sprung his claws in anticipation of some cat-burglary.

“Why bother with petty cash? When the boss sees just how useless these layabouts are, he’ll surely realise our value and give us all the funding we want. We’re his most effective squad, after all. Ohohoho!” Jesse struck a pose and howled out in self-satisfied laughter.

It took all my willpower not to join her in chorus - not yet, anyway. I was now doubly glad I’d sent Ash and co. Whenever Ash clashed with these three bozos, their obsession with Pikachu inevitably waylaid what should’ve been a walk in the park into a complete and utter clusterfuck. Not a phenomenon that applied to me, however.

Arceus works in mysterious ways, but this flag waving in my face was too obvious to miss.

I gingerly laid Kurt supine near the fence so he’d remain unseen. “Hey, hey, hey, what in blazes are ya doin’!?”

“Preparing for trouble.”