CWD: GA ~ Thirty-Nine

Kala didn’t yet have her Death Knight armor, her helmet, or the big black sword, but it was her all right—she had a nose so sharp he could cut his finger on it, and dark hair with a slash of gray down the middle. She’d been some kind of boxer or martial artist before the Juxtaposition, or so the rumors had said. Nacho could believe them, because she looked like she had come out of her crib throwing punches.

The guard didn’t lower the ladder, but she did go and get Mayor Dan, and he sent the ladder spooling down the cliff-side. Nacho, Reuben, and Brie quickly climbed up, glad to find the little settlement at the top. The rocky campsite was more plateau than mountain, with a wide area free of trees. The peak of the mountain was to the east, a treacherous climb over crumbling layers of limestone. People had thrown up tents here and there, the cheap Store tents that didn’t smell right and leaked.

They’d built a straw-and-clay wall on the northern part of the plateau, since the forest sloped downward to ground level. Other adobe walls had been constructed in areas where attackers might be able to climb up. It was a relatively good fortress for having only a week's worth of work put into it, and Nacho had heard stories of the Armor Mountain colony—stories that ended in tragedy because of the Bove, and then a colony of acid termites, which had blown in on the wind at some point.

Or… had they crawled up from the Deep Buggy Darkness because no one had managed to clear it in time? That was a strong possibility.

Several people were clustered around a central fire surrounded by tents. Mayor Dan led Nacho and his friends over, and they waved when they spotted Taye and Kristie the pink Warlock.

Nacho scanned the clearing to inspect what sort of security was set up and found a guard patrolling the western ridge. Standing up there, the guard would have a clear view of the entire plateau. The southern and western cliffs were basically impassable… unless something had wings. The acid termites had wings, and ‘winged and acid-spewing’ wasn’t a great combination, unless someone liked melting flesh.

“Before you ask, we’re not going to leave here to help you fight someone.” Mayor Dan firmly crossed his arms, shaking his head and frowning. “We lost a lot of people, Nacho. We’re not sure we want the trouble.”

“We don’t want the trouble,” Kala confirmed with a mean hiss. Behind her was an older man with the same knife-like nose. That was her father, and Nacho felt a tremor go through him as the older man briefly met his stunned gaze. The cook remembered killing this exact man—the nose had made him stick out among all of the other kills—but he couldn’t remember the guy’s name. His death was why Kala had insisted on Nacho dying before they joined Crave.

The big woman’s frown deepened. “We’re only just holding on here. If this Crave came after you once, he might come after us to get you again. We don’t want any more death.”

“It’s naïve to think there won’t be more death,” Brie shot back instantly. As much as Nacho didn’t like Kala for good reasons, it seemed Brie had taken an instant dislike to the future Death Knight.

Reuben put up his hands placatingly. Was he using his Marketing Skill? Or was the soft glow on his face from the fire? “Look, here’s the thing: Nacho knows more about the Juxtaposition than anyone. I won’t go into the specifics, but I can say if you work with us, we can take care of threats before they happen. If we band together, if we use the guild function, which Nacho understands, we’ll all survive.”

“How do you know so much?” Kala’s eyes flashed with suspicion.

“I received a boon from a Patron: a whole bunch of information packs for free.” Nacho didn’t mention that he’d talked directly to his Patron just the night before—he hadn’t even told Reuben and Brie yet. There was a whole big conversation they needed to have privately first. “Listen, I have an idea of what’s coming, and I can assure you that Crave is going to be a problem whether I’m here or not.”

No one looked convinced, so he decided to offer some free advice. “Another thing: this mountain is looming over a dungeon, and unless you clear the entire thing, anything that you build here is going to get destroyed by acid termites. Second, there is a competitor race and a win condition for this… this Armageddon. The race is called  ‘CrossHumans’, and there are a whole load of other threats you don’t know about. But before we try to tackle any other problems, we need to take care of the Bove. You’ve seen what it can do, and it’s not going to be getting any weaker. If Taye can help us figure out where it goes, I think I can find its lair. Work with us. Guild up, grind out some credits, and let’s go hunting.”

Taye kept his gaze on Nacho, unsure of whose side to take. “A boon from a Patron. Like Kristie’s magic? But you’re not a Warlock.”

“Right, you know I’m a Common Cook, a Satiation Player. Believe me, we’re rare, but we’re vital if everyone wants to avoid suffering. That won’t be apparent until you hit level ten, also known as Tier one, level zero. That’s when everything changes. I’m sure you’ve seen how expensive food becomes as you advance Tiers? If you join with me, you won’t have to pay those unholy prices.”

Kala wasn’t going to give him a break. “Great, now this guy wants us to listen to him because he’s a cook. Yeah, let’s listen to the cook in a world where only fighting is useful. I don’t believe this.”

Some old guy with a grizzled beard took off his battered old Kansas City Royals hat and smoothed down his thinning hair. He nodded, and Kala saw it. She liked it. Kala was a woman who enjoyed wielding power. How much of this argument was for her to win followers, and how much was to protect their colony?

Taye asked the next logical question. “If you’re Tier one, why not keep eating Tier zero food?”

“It doesn’t work,” Nacho replied instantly, confident in his answer. “Once you level up, you need that Tier’s food. You’ve tasted the food from the Store by now, and you know it’s not good. My cooking is… slightly better.”

“It’s pretty good, at least in comparison.” Mayor Dan nodded at a woman who stood close to him. If Nacho had to guess, he figured she was probably the wife the mayor had mentioned. “What do you think, Beck?”

The curvaceous woman with crow’s feet and iron gray hair smiled politely at Nacho. “I’d have to taste his pancakes. You said they were a little dry?”

“Dry for now,” Reuben quickly amended. “But Nacho is improving all the time, and he has a fabulous new biscuit recipe. Not only is his food better than the Store’s, but it can increase your stats. Tasty buffs for those with a discriminating palate!”

“We’d need to read up on what guild rules can do,” the mayor’s wife announced decisively. “No surprises. We simply can’t trust many people in this world.”

“A good way to stay alive,” Nacho agreed with a solemn nod.

“All that means is that we can’t trust you.” Kala stared daggers at him, and her father joined her. Such a cohesive family.

Reuben stepped between them. “Listen, Kala, human beings are good at two things: adapting to circumstances, and coming together to survive. That’s our real magical ability: to tell each other stories that draw us together, because we are much stronger together than we are apart. Yes, there will be difficulty, and there will be growing pains, but the more people we gather, the stronger we'll become. We’re going to be transparent, and you should read up on guilds, Mrs. Mayor. In the meantime, Nacho can explain the pluses and minuses.”

The Healer was amazing at applying the social lubricant, even if Nacho was pretty sure that it was his Marketing Skill in action. If the people were level one, or less, they would be drawn to Reuben, and that definitely seemed to be the case. They were actively listening to him and then staring right at Nacho, as if he were the guy who knew everything. In a lot of ways, he was.

Reuben had always been a natural politician, and he liked people. The only thing standing between him and real power was his sweet soul.

Nacho was struck dumb for a second, but he cleared his throat and started clarifying as succinctly as possible. “As with most larger organizations, there are upsides and downsides to guilding up. One minus is a big one: taxes. The biggest one is a Guild Tax, so every time you kill a monster, some of those credits transfer to the guild’s coffers. Another drawback is that under the standard contract, let me say that again: the standard contract… a Guild Master can tell any member to do anything, and they are forced to comply. The Guild Master is granted a kind of compulsion magic, which can make them dangerous if you elect the wrong person.”

Nacho kept his eyes off Kala. He’d heard horror stories of her rule over the Gorged. This rough and tough woman wasn’t going to get any softer the longer she was in the Juxtaposition, that was for sure. The cook idly wondered if Myron was on Armor Mountain at that very moment. Ugh. Myron.

Reuben laughed awkwardly. “Okay, so those are terrible. But the benefits surely must outweigh the drawbacks?”

The cook nodded, and Reuben breathed a slight sigh of relief. “It’s an effective way of making money quickly as a group. Being in a guild gives you bonus credits for killing monsters and clearing dungeons with other guild members. The price for building supplies are also reduced. I see your clay bricks, which are fine, but you could afford to instantly buy stone walls, as well as stone houses. We could build a real-life castle up here, and we should, even if we kill the Bove.”

A few of the players who’d been at the Rocky Top fight shivered at the memories of the Calamity-class monster cow.

“Now, we don’t need to have a Guild Master. We can always get a non-standard contract with a Guild Leader.” Nacho kept talking, and people perked up at the new information. “The difference is most noticeable in the restriction that the leader is accountable to the members, and frankly, I think it is a good idea to choose that. I have less information about that style of guild charter, so we should all read it very carefully. Another thing; while this area is defensible, it is lacking in necessities. There’s not a natural spring up here, but we might be able to collect rainwater. Also, we might be able to dig a cistern, maybe run pipes? There are pipes available in the Store.”

Reuben patiently waited for Nacho to finish rambling, and then he started the hard sell. “See? There are definite benefits. If we gather together early, if we beat other groups to the punch, we can keep each other safe. But we need to do this quickly! If building materials are price-reduced, and if we have a castle, that’s going to be worlds better than this tent city you guys purchased—I’m sure you noticed the smell of the tents. I’m pretty sure we can buy homes that smell better, at the very least.”

“You get used to the smell,” the old guy in the Royals cap scowled, “but it’s the leaking. The rain nearly washed me out of my own place.”

Reuben grinned and pointed at the man. “Stone doesn’t leak. We get you all some stone houses, and you’ll be set.”

There was no chatter or discussion, and the encampment grew strangely quiet for a moment. Neither Kala nor her father was buying it, however. “These people talk about safety and castles and-”

“What we need,” Nacho held up a forestalling finger, “is a guildhall. We need a place to keep the charter. If the guildhall is destroyed, the guild is destroyed, and whoever did it will get our combined credits and raw materials. Just think of it as an enhanced game of Capture the Flag, only letting someone else grab your flag means we all die.”

Kala slapped Nacho’s finger down. “This guy wants to tax us, and he wants to have the power to order us around? There is no way that’s happening.”

Taye’s eyes glowed. He was checking the fine print. “He’s telling the truth. This is a servitude contract, and once you sign, you sign forever—as long as the guildhall isn’t destroyed. This isn’t a contract you can opt out of; it’s a magical command spell. This is a powerful charm. If he told you to jump off the mountain, you’d have to do it.”

“I wouldn’t do that!” Nacho tried to speak over the hubbub. Mayor Dan was keeping quiet and watching, but his eyes kept going to Taye. He’d clearly only vote if Taye voted for it. His wife was more of a wildcard. Nacho couldn’t forget she’d done well in the Evaluation, despite her age and the fact that the last video game she’d played had probably been the free Solitaire on her PC.

“Why wouldn’t we elect Reuben as the Guild Master?” Mrs. Mayor wondered loudly.

“Guild Leader. Don’t go the standard route if Nacho says it's a bad idea,” Reuben rumbled with laughter. “You don’t want me. You absolutely want the cook. This is Nacho’s show; I’m just the clown bumbling around and hugging people—healing them with hugs. I assure you it’s perfectly legitimate and not at all creepy.”

Another pause greeted the admission, and Mrs. Mayor pointed to their blonde Berserker. “You’re awfully quiet, Miss Brie. What do you think about all this?”

Brie shrugged and swiveled her hand back and forth. “You want Nacho. He knows how this works, and we can trust him. He’s a good guy, but not too good. While I love my Reuben, he’s a bit too sweet to be a good leader during the end of the world. Nacho isn’t sweet. He’s salty, and we’ll need that.”

Reuben couldn’t hide the goofy grin on his face. “She’s not wrong. You need someone a bit ruthless. I’m many things, but ruthless is not one of them.”

“What would we call the guild?” Taye’s eyes were still glowing. He’d found one of the parameters. “Looks like we’d need a name.”

Nacho took the query as a good sign. If Taye was considering guilding up, the mayor would fall in line, and then he figured so would the man’s wife. Would Kala and her father? What about the old guy in the ragged Royals cap? Knowing Kala from before, Nacho was certain she’d walk away before joining. If she couldn’t be in charge, she wanted nothing to do with the entire operation.

He had an idea for a guild name, the Breakfast Buffet, which would be a play on the joke of being The Dinner Party. Luckily for everyone involved, Reuben beat him to the punch. “Nacho’s Chips. Because if the Chips are down, you know you’re in trouble.”

The big guy abruptly guzzled a whole water bottle and ate a bite of pocket pancake. That proved he had been using his Marketing Skill after all, which was pretty expensive, given that it took five percent out of all three pools—Mana, Hunger, and Thirst.

“Can you make nachos?” Taye wondered with a strange glance. “I’m in, based on the non-standard contract, if you can make nachos.”

“The recipe would be two hundred credits, but we might find a Tier one cookbook that would provide a bunch of recipes. Those cost four hundred. But yes, Taye, as long as I have a recipe, I can make nachos. It might take me a bit to get right. I’m not a very good cook yet.”

“Great, a cook who isn’t very good at cooking.” Mrs. Mayor smiled to take the sting out of the words, more warmly than Nacho had expected. “I like his humility—and I like the idea of a guild, especially if we can hold our leader accountable, like you say we can. But we all shouldn’t join, not yet. We’ll take volunteers, we’ll test how it works without the binding parameters, and then we’ll make our decision. Nacho, I don’t know you, but I do know your friends went after you without a thought for their own safety. If you can have such good friends—especially this Reuben, who is a doll—you must be a good person.”

Nacho remembered his parents, his upbringing, some people he’d met in the greater Kansas City area, and he nodded. “Well, ma’am, I hope I’m an okay person, because I’ve met my fair share of bad.”

Kala flung out her hands with a frustrated grunt. “This is insane. You’re going to trust this random person? Why not choose Iron Becky, Mayor Dan, or even Taye?”

A grin spread across Brie’s face. “Iron Becky?”

The older woman kept her face perfectly still. “Hair’s silver, and I don’t take much guff from anyone. It comes from teaching seventh graders for a bit longer than I should’ve.”

Taye squinted at Kala. “What’s wrong with me? You said my name like I was the last resort or something. Look, if Nacho has game knowledge, he’s the man who should be leading us.”

Nacho didn’t address Kala or her father, knowing they were lost causes. He addressed the old guy in the Royals cap instead. “Here’s the thing: I do have a unique perspective-”

“Leave Old Bill out of this!” Kala utterly lost it. “You can go unique yourself in the butt! In the morning, I’m taking whoever doesn’t want to serve some nacho-cheese-tyrant, and we’ll form our own guild!”

“But not here,” Iron Becky informed her sternly. “We have Armor Mountain.”

“For now,” Kala growled as she and her father marched away.

“She thinks people would be happy with her as a Guild Master?” Mayor Dan shook his head and sighed. “Don’t you worry about them. This isn’t the first problem we’ve had with Kala or her dad. She’s wanted to run the show for a long time now. You were just the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

“We should make sure she doesn’t start any trouble.” Something in Brie’s eyes said that she thought using her hammer to solve the solution might be the best way to go. Like Nacho, she had always been salty, and she’d added a bit of pepper since she’d become a Berserker.

“Don’t bother,” Iron Becky said in a firm voice. “They’re not that big of a deal. It’s pretty clear who the six people are that will be leaving with Kala.”

“Is one of them a short guy, unibrow, likes to play with knives?” Nacho had to know if the Assassin was already active.

Mayor Dan, Iron Becky, and Taye all grunted the same name at the same time. “Myron.”

Nacho sighed with satisfaction; these were clearly good people. As to Myron…he knew how to handle that man, especially since the cook had the MurderSong Blades.