Headlines, Oh So Many Headlines That Need to be Posed

Hey we are back, thank you to all the Patrons that stuck around, and death to all those who left. Below are a list of headlines that are available to pose. These are first come, first served, so if you see something you want to pose reach out to us fast. At the top we have The Hard Times headlines, if you want to pose one of these email bill@thehardtimes.net and specify which headline you like. Scroll down a bit and you will get to the Hard Drive headlines, if you want to pose one of those email jeremy@thehardtimes.net and he will be able to take care of you there. Thanks again to all of you, did you know we have a book coming out? If you didn’t you should head to www.thehardtimes.net/book and preorder it now. If you like The Hard Times you will love this book.

The Hard Times headlines (email bill@thehardtimes.net):

World’s Biggest Pulley Fan Owns Band’s Entire Discography on Punk-O-Rama Volume Two Through Punk-O-Rama Volume Ten

Noise Musician Unsure Which Project Files Are Complete

Man at Least Twelve Years Older Than Coworkers Tired of Being Mistaken for Manager

Kid Brother of Guitarist Guesses He Has to Learn Bass Now

Aging Frontman Keeping Shirt On Later and Later Into Set

Lame Step Siblings Have Zero Sexual Chemistry

Realistic Lesbian Porn Just 90 Minutes of Woman At Brunch With Three Exes

Punk Mortified After Being Named Employee of the Month

Aging Punk’s Half-Built Mini Ramp Monument to Time He Thought He Could Save Relationship With Skateboarding

Smokers Can Hear Band Just Fine

OG Office Punk Who’s Always Had Q4 Presenters Back Through It All Moves Up to Front In Conference Room B 

Local Folk Punk Band Accidentally Books Paid Gig

Woman Calls Guitar Center in Search of Missing Father 

Comic Refers Date to Episode Three of His Podcast When Asked About Childhood

Underage Frontman Saving Himself Until Dating Minors Is Creepy

Big-Time Idiot Has Whole Plan to Turn Life Around, Chase Dreams

Selfless Woman Instagrams Donation of Hulu Password to Less Fortunate Friend

Poser Naming Favorite Hardcore Bands Slips Six Protein Bars in there Without Anyone Noticing 

Friend Will Be Live on College Radio Station From 1am to 4am If You Want to Tune In

Man Asks Record Store Employee If They Validate Opinions

Horrible Roommate Excited to Be One with Grievance for Once

Man In Audience Upset To Learn Mighty Mighty Bosstones Have Written New Songs Since 1997

Study: Posers Only Reason Scene Economically Feasible

Friend Back with Band You Spent Months Shit-Talking After Breakup

Cool Office Allows Dog Fighting

Punk Sommelier Recommends Pre-2015 Franzia

Only Black Kid in Class Pulling Overtime as Only Black Kid at Show

Boyfriend Doesn't Really Want Anything for Birthday Besides Elaborate Sex Act You Hate Doing 

Punk Hoping Dad's Trump Support is Just a Phase

No One on DIY Tour Can Change Tire

Hipster Hanging Out Behind Trader Joe’s Asking Shoppers if They've Heard of Wegmans

Man Reading Alone at Bar Prefers to Drink Alone at Library

Exhibitionist Punk Removes Tape From Webcam

Vans Introduces Tiniest Chess Set For Their Checkerboard Sneakers

Songwriter’s Fiancé Mistakenly Thinks Love Songs Are About He

Punk Treats Himself to Food From the Nice Gas Station

Hard Drive headlines (email jeremy@thehardtimes.net):

Olympic Committee to Include 200m Naruto Run at 2020 Games 

Elite Gaming Keyboard Used to Book Funeral Arrangements 

Real Life Also Harder on Veteran Mode 

Twitch Sub Cancelled After Mention of Boyfriend

Couple Making Out at Barcade Rudely Blocking Ms. Pac-Man Cabinet 

Coworker Spawn Camping Donuts at Work

Street Sign Trampled by DDR Fan

Welcome to New York City! If You’re Looking for Work, I Heard Paul at Lucy’s Tavern Is Looking to Hire Someone for an Errand. Rumors? Something Fishy Has Been Happening Outside the Statue of Liberty Lately. Strange Noises. You Won't Catch Me Anywhere Near It. And Stay Out of the Sewers. That’s Where the Thieves Live

Elderly Man Kindly Rewinds YouTube Video to the Start So Next Viewer Doesn't Have To 

Woman Performs Sacred Daytime Gaming Ritual Known as the Closing of the Blinds

Worried College Student Calls University Health Services After Roommate Returns With Multiple JRPGs

Paranoid Twitch Streamer Constantly Feels Like They Aren't Being Watched

Hot Guy’s Thor Halloween Costume Makes No Fucking Sense

Overly Cautious D&D Party Still in Starting Tavern After 10 Sessions

Millennials Playing D&D Confused by Concept of Long Rest 

We Sent a Gamer to Drink the Dew on Mount Everest and He Is Almost Certainly Dead

Spy Can’t Stop Playing With Cyanide Pill Tooth

Man Knows More About Superman’s Parents Than His Own

Online Relationship Has No Plans for Physical Release