thehardtimes

MINNEAPOLIS — Local man Dan Stanford was accused of derailing date night at an upscale restaurant after he spent most of the evening gazing longingly at the dive bar across the street, patrons ha...

Meet Ashley Hightower, a 28 year-old-college graduate from an upper-middle-class family. Like a lot of us, she has severe anxiety, but she manages that with her coping mechanism of choice, which is...

LOS ANGELES — Local self-described “elder emo” Jasper Berkeley, 37, turned down the volume to his car stereo playing Taking Back Sunday’s 2002 classic “Cute Without The ‘E’ (Cut From ...

LOS GATOS — Netflix co-CEO Ted Sarandos announced today the  streaming service is expanding on the “Skip Intro” button by introducing  a “Skip to Where Series Get...

Hello, my friends and loved ones! Thank you for reading this open  letter. I have some news I’m very excited to share with you all, and I’m  sure you’ll be glad to hear it:

As...

DUXBURY, Mass. — Local punk Danny Coulstring was shocked to learn that the somewhat popular satire news publication The Hard Times was not funded by the owner’s parents and launched a 2024-01-05 19:03:00 +0000 UTC View Post

TULSA, Okla. — Local folk singer John “Ramblin’ Gamblin’” Shandling, age 41, took a firm stance against chronic foot pain by scrawling “This Machine Kills Plantar Fasciitis” on each o...

This certainly isn’t good. You’ve been left alone to watch the cart, and your turn at the cashier is rapidly approaching. But you don’t have money, you’re just a kid, and if something doesn...

AKRON, Ohio — Local scene legend and bartender William Lindberg admitted his dreams of retiring in his fifties or sixties depends solely on which of his records get repressed, confirmed multiple ...

Orlando, FL – In a surprising change of plans, the Walt Disney Company has greenlit a Kingdom Hearts attraction for Orlando’s EPCOT Resort, according to reports. The ride, canonically taking pl...

Thank you

Wow. It looks like the community has effectively saved the sites. Thanks so much for the boosts, retweets, kind words. We had such low expectations for a patreon and are so overwhelmed with the sup...

The road to success is not traveled in the backseat, it’s traveled with you in the driver’s seat, or perhaps walked by foot, or maybe in a car where you use your feet like Fred Flintstone. Eith...

BALTIMORE — Local bachelor Dennis Howell has been wearing the same hat for the entirety of his adult life because a girl said it looked cool 15 years ago, concerned and exasperated sources confir...

BOSTON — Local punk Patricia "Peg Leg" Sullivan made a massive pledge of $20,000 per month to the recently launched Hard T...

Article below:

Bethesda has announced that classic glitches and bugs from previous Bethesda Softworks titles will be available to purchase in Starfield as ‘Legacy Quirks’ under the Creations banner.

“...

Aging Nu-Metal Fan Blasts "Click Click Boom" by Salvia to Get Pumped Up for Big Prostate Exam

BIG FLATTS, N.Y. — 51-year-old nu-metal fan Ricky Clud recently expressed that Saliva's early 2000s classic “Click Click Boom'' was the secret to getting hyped up for his prostate exam, several...

Hello HARD Community! Tell us what you'd like to see

Thank you for your support. Please let us know what you'd like to see us focus on for Patrons.

PS5 From Temu Just PS2 and PS3 Glued Together

Shopping website Temu has been trending lately for a few different reasons. Some people are calling it the new Wish.com after discovering items they purchased were not quite as advertised when they...

She’ll Be Missed: Grandma Just Became Lootable

TAMPA, FLORIDA — The family and friends of Gertrude Horowitz were devastated this morning to discover a semi-transparent button floating above the matriarch’s head prompting th...

New things in the works!

New stuff coming soon. Thank you all for the support.

Fanboys - Season Finale: Fanboys the Musical

On this week’s episode of Fanboys, the boys share some special goodies and treats to celebrate their big season finale. And since you’re a patron, you get… well, the same as everybody else th...

Fanboys - Respect Your Punk Elders

On this week’s episode of Fanboys, the boys jam with some Gen Xers and prepare for their very special 150th episode. And since you’re a patron, you get… more! Lucky you!

As always, if y...

Fanboys: AC/DC (All Cops Do Crimes)

On this week’s episode of Fanboys, Edgar and Ty mourn the generation we lost to downtempo indie music before reflecting on that time AC/DC rocked about rock. And since you’re a patron, you get�...

Fanboys: Just Call It “Accent Humor”

On this week’s episode of Fanboys, Edgar and Diego launch their “all Shrek all the time” podcast and do math at the grocery store. And since you’re a patron, you get… more! Lucky you!

Fanboys - #1 Podcast for Famous People

On this week’s episode of Fanboys, Ty and Diego take in the crisp mountain air and explore the good parts of Americana while staying far, FAR away from the bad parts. And since you’re a patron,...

Fanboys - Feat. Punk Legend OJ Simpson

On this week’s episode of Fanboys, the boys gaze the hell out of some shoes and get to the bottom of that whole “white Bronco” situation. And since you’re a patron, you get… more! Lucky y...

Fanboys: Hot Fanboys Summer

On this week’s episode of Fanboys, the boys shoot down the gods of blues and beat up a poor sad singer-songwriter. And since you’re a patron, you get… more! Lucky you!

As always, if you...

Fanboys - Mountaintop Cock Rock

On this week’s episode of Fanboys, the boys podcast from the top of a trippy mountain and disagree a bunch. Go figure. And since you’re a patron, you get… more! Lucky you!

As always, if...

Fanboys: The Dirt

On this week’s episode of Fanboys, Edgar reasserts the podcast hierarchy, and the boys trip balls to an industrial music video. And since you’re a patron, you get… more! Lucky you!

As a...

Fanboys: Lunatics Running the Asylum

On this week’s episode of Fanboys, Ty and Diego mishear lyrics, do some spring reverb detective work, and miss their friend and boss Edgar terribly. And since you’re a patron, you get… more! ...