heatherbeck

Bag Thing

An absolutely little reflection. Though I’m sure not even Wes Bentley could muster a “wow” outta this one. (The Video should work if you click on it, but Vimeo is giving me some trouble, so l...

Just Where to Start.

After so long, and after a month that featured the first flu you’ve had in three years, and the more standard-issue normalcies, and the days that slip together, because concern is dependant on th...

Just a thing.

Got a comment from a subscriber who said they like the long stuff, but sometimes, they just want something brief. Bite sized. Quick. Easy to digest. Chevrolet Beat. Shortie, Angel, Want to show the...

Fireside No. 1

It was something Roosevelt did. I hope a part of it was the fact that he wanted to keep himself accountable. But I think he did it for the correct reasons too. 

This is something I would...

What the Frock?

Say what you will about ol' Heather, but this chick knows how to clean up well.

I said she knows how to. NOT that her default mode isn't Full-Gremlin.

Since re...

Dingbats (Nincompoops?)

There was a word that was tactlessly omitted the other day, when I was formulating my Grand Return post. (For future readers, it was posted on Instagram, in March of 2023, and featured an image of ...

Laissez les bon temps rouler.

And that, mon fréres, is how you make a gumbo. #TheSumOfItsParts #RouxIsGonnaHappenOnTheUpperLeft

S. S. Mulligan

There are two boats. These boats have been sailing around together for a while now... a long while. There have been a bunch of adventures over the years: popping into different ports to have a good...

Pineapple

I love bullies.

Don’t get me wrong: I have no respect for bullies. I have no admiration for them. The act of bullying somebody is (and I don’t think this is the Merriam-Webster definition...

The second impersonation.

Sweet Jesus, I think I need to script the next one so it doesn't go off the rails so completely. If I had one less scotch in me at this... 3:21 a.m.(?!?!?!) This would never see the light of day. T...

Guess That Voice - Part 1.

New mic, new me. Still getting this thing calibrated. I'm in a new setting, nowhere near the veritable (makeshift) Hollywood-quality sound studio and crazy-ass lended mic I had at my disposal befor...

Under the Wire

Soooo…. There’s this time at the end of every month where I realize that 10 days out has turned into 4 days, and then into 2, and I think, “I’ll make do for my Patrons!” And, once a year,...

The Truth is Out There.

Soooo... there are really only two possible reasons I lost the bet.

The first is simple. Essentially, the Mayans were right. Hear me out.

Possibility One:

Some yo...

Meatballs

What a difference three inches makes.

Funny, huh? Because, there’s a double meaning in that. One is a penis joke! Do you get it?! Because penises.

I never understood why that’s a po...

Batter’ Up!

You Patreon lovelies do deserve a bit of a sneak peek. The Instagram folks get it for free! And that just doesn’t seem fair.

The next post is going to involve literally outgrowing my very f...

The Workspace.

I know, I know. Boobs to come, no worries, y’all’ll get a fancy of what the Good Lord dun decided to give me.

But! For now? Before I de-sweat myself? From the Desk of Heather Beck?

Fukk Yeah.

No boobs right now. But environments change you. They leave you breathless, or with a nasty scar (as the prophet once said).

Good God, when was the last time you get to feel like yourself. Es...

Eat, Drink, and be Fat and Drunk

This is a happy Heather.

One who behaves erratically whilst at a nice restaurant. She says silly things, and gets more drinks than she needs, and loathes the idea of leaving before 4 hours h...

Start at the Bottom, and Work Your Way Up.

Can you feel it? I can feel it. Kinda? Maybe not really? Maybe it’s just psychosomatic.

I’ve alluded to this before, but I’m beginning to be impressed by the fact that Ol’ Nat and Olg...

Just to let you know.

In an attempt to let you know the inner workings of my day-to-day, I have to start (again) somewhere. So, I just wanted to let you all know that, whenever I access my "downloads" folder on my Dock ...

Dishes, Spiders, Cutouts, and the Best Painting Ever.

I suppose that's what this bully pulpit is for, isn't it? I'm not gonna lie. I've gotten a bit burned out lately, for all the reasons we usually get burned out these days. That's okay, and I don't ...

I Wonder About the Old Songsters.

They make a whole lot of sense, don’t get me wrong.

But Willie, and Patsy, and but git’-dang’it, I spen’t unironic damned evenings having a fine time at Cracker Barrel.

If you�...

"Slow Down, Everyone..."

"...You're moving too fast."

Not a personal criticism. More of a rare moment of nostalgia from a late-stage (or can I call myself and early-stage?) millennial? In either case, as a Floridian-...

Letters From Heather — The Art of Distraction — 2022

[Ah ha! On more, and I got @AldoInHeaven’s images mixed up! So I THINK this is the pic to go with this story — sans clothes — the PREVIOUS is in water, so I’ll guess that’svthe lake o...