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heatherbeck

heatherbeck

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heatherbeck posts

"I didn't do it!"

I'm not one to be star-struck. Back in a previous life, I actually interviewed celebrities pretty constantly, and the hard truth is, they're a bunch of working stiffs, just like the rest of us. Nic...

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“All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.”

I know, I know, I know.

It was one of those apps I downloaded for a moment. $7.99 a week?! Ew. I said yes, and canceled. But, I still have my 3-day trial!

Which I won’t use. Kicked i...

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Playing Footsie

They say the part of the brain that’s attracted to boobs is located right next door to the part that’s attracted to feet. Something to do with very-early childhood. Small babies spend a lot of ...

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Transatlantic

It was… Shit, which month was it. It was still cold. There was a fire going, one that had been roaring since the morning.

It wasn’t the first time Astrid and I had met. (That little backs...

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Oh, Dear Sweet Shitttttt. It Happened Again.

So, I understand. With great power comes great responsibility. I want to insert a disclaimer here, because this seems to be the right time to do so: I do not go out into that good world with the in...

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I’ve been asleep…

…But I’m awake now.

“If you give them an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

As the Spaniards say, “Give them your hand, and they’ll take your arm.”

Or, if you offer food ...

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The Nocturnal Antics of My Ephemeral Roommate.

I don’t believe in ghosts. I never have, even when I was a little girl. But, as far as my imperfect memory can recall, I always wanted to.

I used to work in an old building that, at one poi...

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Why So Serious?

I know, I know, mixing Batman universes. But for what it’s worth, Astrid recently reminded me that I look a bit like Jared Leto’s mom. I mean, hey — not a huge fan of his work, but I...

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Srry.

(You ever wonder what people thought of you before? A while ago? Gritty. Welp! This above pic is just a stupid thing, from waaaaay back in the day, before anybody cared what a Heather was!...

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Big Things in Far-Away Places: Part 4(a)

***The following story is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended o...

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All Things Heather - Spring, 2022

[Editor’s note: It’s 3:30 in the A.M., and I'm about to hit the publish button. I would LOVE to give this a proofread, and I will… tomorrow. So I hope you enjoy it, warts and all, before ...

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Fiction - "A Matter of Life and Breast" - Prologue

[Ed. Note: I hope you really enjoy this new little tale I'm embarking on. I've been working on it for a while, and have been collaborating with a positively amazing artist who is illustrating i...

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Big Things in Far-Away Places — Part 3

***The following story is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended o...

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Ec-Clue'd-in-Black

Well, well. A murder most fowl. Buck-buck-buk-aw. 

What a terrible trist this was. Wherein s...

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Big Things in Far-Away Places — Part 2

***The following story is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended o...

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Track 12 - Samantha

In short, my first (semi) kinky(ish) experience that actually meant a great deal to me. And, as it turns out, it was with a (gasp!) lady...?! I know, sinful, right? I'm not gonna dwell the shit out...

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Big Things in Far-Away Places — Part 1

***The following story is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended o...

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Track 11: The Lightning Round!

[Update — Technical difficulties on the first attempt to upload? I think? Anyway, the audio wasn't working for some of you, so here's try No. 2. Apologies for the blargh! :-) As my grandmothe...

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Monopoly with a Seven-Year-Old

When I was younger, some friends of the family would hold this annual shit show they affectionately referred to as “The Buddy Bash.” This motley group of friends-since-highschool — otherwise ...

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Fucking Cat.

[Editor’s Note: Hola, fans of fiction. So, during Covid, one of my things was to commission artists from around the world to illustrate these “one-offs.” I have a small idea of a story; s...

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We Could’ve Had Pi.

I like to imagine, sometimes, the smaller moments in history. These instances we all know about, but we just don’t know the details. Like the Defenestration of Prague: did you know there were thr...

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Silly moons.

And big trees.

And empty plates.

And the patience of geckos, who are waiting for a snack. View Post

Found a thing.


Written on the back of a street-side stumble-upon. I wonder about Fausto. Seems like a nice fella.

2021-12-18 02:29:42 +0000 UTC View Post

Damned what you know.

Remember that episode of “The Twilight Zone?” where the dad from “My Three Sons” flipped a quarter into the newsie’s coin box, and it stood on its side, and for that whole day, he could r...

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Track 10: The Pros. Plus, a Little Sentimental Ditty.

I think, in a bunch of these previous audio files, I've sort of addressed the cons of having big boobs. Which is a bummer, because there are actually some good parts, too. It's a mixed bag, and I'l...

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Post Mortem: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Take a Forbidden Stroll Down Memory Lane

When you’re a big boob lady on internet, you tend to gravitate toward other big boob ladies on internet. There aren’t a huge number of us, but we’re a decent, motley crew. I’m not gonna nam...

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Hole.

One of my favorite artists is Ralph Steadman. By all accounts, he is a perfectly delightful man. Kind, friendly, outgoing, rightfully eccentric, and just generally good.

If you don’t know h...

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Podiatric Health

Fear not, ladies and germs. While it is not entirely uncommon for days to pass without me ever actually laying eyes on them, I have been informed that my feet are, in fact, in excellent condition, ...

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ChirpChirpChirp.

That’s the thing about quiet moments. They can be so damned quiet.

I’m a night owl. There is something refreshing about the idea that between roughly 1 a.m. and 5 a.m., the world...

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Track No. 9 — "So, if you could choose..."

This one is kinda an answer that leads to another question. I do get asked a lot, "If you could pick an ideal breast size, how big do you think you would want to be?" The answer is... complicated. ...

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