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thehardtimes posts
Hard Digest May 2: Boeing, Early Access Merch, Wings, Aging, and More
Boeing Swears They Just Only Hire Suicidal People
BY Hard Digest May 1: Police Abuse, Early Access Unsold Records, Cool Kids, They Might Be Giants, and More
Cop Practices For Long Day of Busting Protests By Beating Teenage Children at Home
BY Hard Digest April 30: Marijuana, Early Access TikTok, Bill Murray, Nextdoor, and More
DEA Reschedules Marijuana After Having Their Minds Blown at Those Phish Sphere Concerts
B...
Hard Digest April 29: Kristi Noem, Early Access Elvis, Skinny Jeans, Six Feet Under, and More
Kristi Noem Saves Face by Claiming Dog She Shot Was Infected with Woke Mind Virus
BY Hard Digest April 28: Early Access Real Punks, Cancel Culture, TikTok, and More
Punk Can’t Decide if They Should Be the Kind of Punk That Knows a Lot About Government or Jack Shit
2024-04-29 00:00:05 +0000 UTC
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Hard Digest April 27: Early Access The Toadies, Viral Videos, Kentucky Derby, Dads, and More
Parent Playing Animal-Themed Playlist at Children’s Party Beginning to Think Toadies Song Not About Possums
Hard Digest April 26: Trump Trial, Early Access Krist Novoselic, Posers, Neoliberals, Excuses, and More
Trump Defense Attorney Grills Former National Enquirer Publisher on Whether or Not Elvis Was Spotted Alive Eating Moon Pies at Tennessee Gas Station
2024-04-27 00:00:06 +0000 UTC
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Hard Digest April 25: Police Abuse, Early Access Elon, Capitalism, Jam Bands, and More
Cop Beating the Crap Out of College Student Looking Forward to Two Weeks Paid Vacation
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Wanna write for Hard Times or Hard Drive? Here's how.
How to write a satire headline: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EPhYYDnk...
2024-04-25 21:36:29 +0000 UTC View PostHard Digest April 24: Early Access Keith Richards, Online Dating, Trojan Horses, and More
Rolling Stones Manager Admits to “Weekend at Bernie’s”-ing Keith Richards for Last 35 Years
Hard Digest April 23: Early Access Fantasy Metal, Molly, Rap Skits, and More
Fantasy Metal Show’s Coat Check Consists Primarily of Capes
BY Winners announced! Check your email to see if you won
Hey everyone!
Check your email. I just sent out individualized codes for all the winners of our patron raffle from matt...
2024-04-23 20:29:18 +0000 UTC View PostHard Digest April 22: Early Access The Smiths Reunion?, Criterion Closet, Boomers, and More
Morrissey, Johnny Marr Pretend Not to See Each Other at Grocery Store
BY Hard Digest April 21: Early Access Ruby Soho, Nostalgia, Health Insurance, and More
Ruby Sells Apartment in Soho for $3.4 Million
BY Hard Digest April 20: Chicago Hardcore, Komodo Dragons, Authors, Past Success, and More
NBC Adds “Chicago Hardcore” to City-Themed Lineup
BY Hard Digest April 19: Taylor Swift, Early Access 420, Record Store Day, Blue's Clues, ICP, and More
Internet Detectives Believe New Taylor Swift Track “Florida!!!” About Troubled Relationship With Swamp-Dwelling Skunk Ape
Hard Digest April 18: Ukraine, Early Access Black Metal, Sludge, Perverts, and More
Facebook Launches “Most Powerful Profile Picture Filter Yet” in Support of Ukraine Against Russian Invasion
Hard Digest April 18: 20 Years of Tears, Early Access Neil deGrasse Tyson, the Bible, Home Ownership, and More
VIP Tickets for “20 Years of Tears” Tour Include Exclusive Access to Leave Early to Beat the Traffic
Hard Digest April 16: Early Access Weezer, Pizza, Sobriety, and More
Weezer Deciding If Next Album Should Be One of the Good Ones or Not
BY Hard Digest April 15: Early Access Jamiroquai, Grindcore, Babies, and More
Grindcore Band Argues Over What 473 Songs They Have Written Should Go on New Record
BY Hard Digest April 14: Early Access Raw Meat Diet, AOL Running Man, Mitch McConnell, and More
Man Trying Raw Meat Diet Hoping Debilitating Salmonella Part of the Process
BY Hard Digest April 13: Early Access Trump, Emotional Walls, Eric Clapton, TikTok Music, and More
Trump Brags About Latest Cognitive Test After Crushing Kids Menu Maze
BY Hard Digest April 12: Golden Bachelor, Early Access Biden, Sellouts, Sum-41, Elder Millennials, and More
Inspiring! Golden Bachelor Proves You’re Never Too Old to Get Married, Give it Three Months, Then Get Divorced
Hard Digest April 11: O.J. Simpson, Early Access Pig Kidneys, Discmans, Practice Space, and More
Medical Staff Report OJ Took One Last Instinctual Swipe at Blonde Nurse Before Passing
BY Patron appreciation giveaway. Free records, shirts, more
Hey everyone!
If you're a Patron, you've just been entered into a raffle. Winners will receive a code that gives them the ability to (digitally) run through our merch store, which is ...
2024-04-11 23:26:22 +0000 UTC View PostHard Digest April 10: Gun Laws, Early Access PornHub, Sobriety, Record Stores, and More
Jealous Florida Senate Hurriedly Passes Bill Allowing Teachers to Pistol Whip Tardy Students
2024-04-11 00:00:08 +0000 UTC
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Hard Digest April 9: Early Access Metal Merch, Porn Addiction, the Wienermobile, and More
Metal Band’s Merch Guy Offers to Remove Sleeves From Any Shirt for Additional Fee
BY Hard Digest April 8: Early Access Alcoholism, Gary Busey, Lullabys and More
Concerned Friends and Family Fear Man Has Reached “‘80s Speed Metal Fan” Level of Alcoholism
2024-04-09 00:00:06 +0000 UTC
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Hard Digest April 7: Early Access Solar Eclipse, Disney Adults, Poser Babies, and More
Bonnie Tyler Projected To Earn $1.47 Off “Total Eclipse Of The Heart” Spotify Streams During Solar Eclipse
